As my blog is heading towards its first year anniversary I started to wonder how my life has changed in the past year and since I started blogging? Am I where I was hoping to be? Is my blog successful? Do I still enjoy it as much as I used to? And how on earth did I even get to writing this post?
I have to warn you though! If you’re here for interior inspirations, press Escape! (or here) If you’re here to see beautiful photos of beautiful homes, press Escape! (or here) Or if you’re here to read a story of a girl that have become abominably rich, you can press Escape too (or here), becasue that’s not the kind of story either.. In fact you don’t have to read it at all! Just press Escape and go home (it’s just a saying, you don’t really have to go home, unless you are at home, in that case you may as well just read it, and get even more bored than you’re already are)
But let’s go back to the beginning of this boring blogging story
At the beginning there was a girl (that’s me) who thought blogging was easy. Oh, how stupid she was (that’s me again). If you’re just starting your blogging journey, don’t be stupid! Don’t be me! Blogging is not easy! And if you’re thinking of becoming a full time blogger prepare yourself for hard work and long hours! And loneliness… lots of it!
Because you see my dears… you don’t get to meet with other bloggers unless you get big, and you don’t get big until you don’t meet other bloggers. As fucked up as this can seem it is true. Blogging is like a massive circle of opportunities that keeps on rolling and doesn’t stop for anyone. You have to jump right in and run very fast to avoid being crushed! And you know what happens if you slow down? You fall out of the circle and the only way back is to jump right into that madness again… But this madness is good. This madness is what keeps me going. Is what keeps us all going, right? Or not…?
Don’t get me wrong! If you’re just starting out, I’m not here to crush your dreams. Hell not! Blogging is wonderful! And the circle is big! Big enough for all of us! So come on, jump right in. But be prepared! Be prepared as prepared you can be!
Be prepared as fuck for all of it!
Because I wasn’t! And I fell down. And I crushed my own dreams… My hopes, my everything. So don’t be me… Be prepared!
I might be still in the circle, but I’m not running, I’m not even walking fast… I’m just tagging along… I always have been. And that’s OK. I just need to convince my heart that it’s OK. And bring the joy back…
But let’s come down this melancholy hill, it’s not all bad! And it’s not the purpose of this post. In fact there are some good things about blogging too… Wait! Are there? … Of course there are! I wouldn’t be here if there weren’t… or was I…? Just kidding with you! And that’s exactly the point here.
Since having kids I’ve convinced myself that I should be more serious as a person (or as a mum). And so I’ve become very serious (read: boring) person. Acting and saying what was appropriate, not how I really felt. It wasn’t me, but it was done. When I started writing I’ve rediscovered my old sense of humour. It turned out that it wasn’t buried as deep down as I thought! (OK, let’s be honest, it was in the deep shit hole before that)
But writing brought back the old ME!
In one year as a blogger I’ve learned so much more than in three years of studying interior design. This may seem as an overstatement but (apart from the technical stuff) it’s true. I feel that the combination of those two give me a massive boost but its blogging that gave me the confidence in my own opinions, designs and that what I do is actually good!
Blogging makes me feel like a worthy person.
I have met and “met” so many wonderful like minded people. I can’t even describe how it feels. It’s so surreal! Finally you just fit in! I fitted in! It’s like I actually belonged here before I even started. My place on Earth! (OK, on cyber Earth) But I guess that’s a very personal feeling, you either love it or hate it. I loved it from the moment I pressed on that Publish button for the first time!
But what else have REALLY changed since I started blogging?
- Let’s start from my daily routine… what routine? Let’s skip that one…
- I’ve become a social media pro which ranks me higher up on my daughter’s coolness list (although I still struggle here and feel like a total loser sometimes)
- As hypocritical as it may seems, our house has never been so messy and untidy as it is now (it’s all thanks to me constantly tinkering, DIYing, moving things and faffing around in the name of a good photo)
- I have got used to the feeling of a “less of a person” just because I’m not making any real money blogging and after nearly a year I’m still doing it for the love of it.
- I’ve stopped explaining to people what I do all day (I don’t work so all I do is just watch TV and eat chocolate all day, dream life!)
- Dry shampoo has become my every day shampoo, because there is always one more tweet, one more post to read or one more instagram photo to see at 1 am.
- For the very same reason (and more) my razors have been moved from “use me everyday” shelf to “deep, down and forgotten” corner of my cabinet (luckily I still shower every day)
- My pre pregnancy sexy pants have all been replaced with very comfortable 100% cotton pants (and it has nothing to do with the size of my bum, all the funds are going towards yet another candle or interiors book) How my house looks is so much more important than how I look these days- that’s a real statement!
- There is no more “family time” after dinner, instead there is “Mummy is on her phone, working, maybe later time”, because I have to write back to my comments, otherwise I’ll be a bad blogger who doesn’t give a shit about her readers (sadly, not giving shit about your family is allowed)
- I’ve not spoken to some of my “real life” friends for months, because I’m too busy writing comments on my “instagram friends” posts (and yet I still wonder why the lonely feeling right?)
- On a positive side, as a blogger I’ve started experimenting more with colours and patterns (because if not us bloggers, who else will do it right?) which lead to finally discovering my own style (I still can’t name it, but at least I know it, which is great)
- My kids may not have home baked cakes for the school fair but they have cool rooms.
- My kids may not have home baked cakes for the school fair but they have a cool mum! Hell yeah! (OK, I have officially run out of cool phrases, which I think makes me less cool, but I’m a mum after all)
- I have realised that I don’t want to be an interior designer any more! Well… that’s a bummer, after three years of studying interior design… but it’s not all that bad because styling, which is much closer to my heart is still related, so those years may not be lost after all!
- I do what I love doing and what I believe in (beautiful interiors are for everyone, not just for the full pocket owners) and I get to tell you all about it here…
- …even if I’m lonely sometimes
Now ‘m gonna go and buy myself some sexy pans… and come back to you with my normal interiors related post next week (but only if I find the joy in it all, not because I have to)
*For the credit of the featured image go here